


Pressure and Release

by DisguisedasInnocent



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F, One Shot, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-11
Updated: 2013-09-11
Packaged: 2017-12-26 08:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/963593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisguisedasInnocent/pseuds/DisguisedasInnocent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Standing in front of the mirror Paige can see the imperfections standing stark on the surface of her body, manifestations of the pain of Alison's words and the heart break of Emily's sadness. Marks and scars that wouldn't ever fade, evidence of the abuse her heart took, manifest as physical pain and mental pleasure. A/N: Trigger Warnings apply: suicide and self harm explicit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pressure and Release

**Author's Note:**

> This story references self harm explicitly. It is set after the drowning/dunking attempt but as if Paige never came to apologise to Emily.

Paige stood in front of her bedroom mirror silently, her eyes scanning down the length of her body, picking out the numerous imperfections left behind on her flesh throughout the years. Marks and scars that wouldn't ever fade, evidence of the abuse her heart took, manifest as physical pain and mental pleasure. They were evidence of the ability to take the emotional pain and form a mark that would not fade proof that she made it through the torture. Paige's fingers stroked over the marks that covered her stomach, feeling the raised lines of scars cut deep into her flesh, memorising the pain that they gave out as new cuts, slices out of her life, blood streaming down the ends of her fingers, dripping from the knife.

The girl smirked at the image of the cuts, the scars crisscrossing her body, the physical manifestation of Alison's touch on her heart. A pale fingertip ran over a scar placed just underneath the girl's left breast, tucked small into the side of her body, a name written across her skin in pain. "Emily," Paige murmured softly, feeling the name on the end of her tongue and the pad of her finger at the same time, a brief smile covering her lips at the image of the young girl in her mind.

Her eyes darkened for a moment, fingernails scratching hard at her flesh as she thought about the recent images of the other girl. The look that her eyes held as she looked back at Paige, a mixture of sadness and fear. That specific mix of emotions pained Paige, because she didn't want to be the cause of any of Emily's anger or pain. She wanted to take it all away.

"Perhaps," The girl murmured softly, looking sideways at the bed, at the knife sat upon the bed sheets, blade glistening innocently in the late afternoon sunlight. Paige wouldn't normally stand in the middle of her bedroom dressed only in her panties and bra, but it was the middle of the weekend, her parents in the next city over, taking care of business. The young girl frowned, biting down on the dark pain caused by her parent's absence. They were always away on business. "Perhaps if you're not around she'll be happy."

Paige liked the thought of making Emily happy. She liked the idea that she could cause a smile to spread across Emily's lips. She liked the idea that she could fill the girl's heart with a lightness, but she knew, deep down in her chest, that she would never cause Emily to smile from mere words. The girl needed action. Alison told those words to Paige, the whispered words that scratched into her soul and took something more away from her with every interaction. Those words were the pain that followed Paige home at the end of the day, even since the blonde haired girl's disappearance. 

The dark haired girl's eyes flickered to the bed and the knife again before darting back to the mirror, taking a long moment to look over the length of her body. Over the years, her frame had changed from a lanky teenager into a muscular young adult. Curves given way to the thread of muscle on top of bone. Paige smiled at her body, pleased with the effect that the muscles gave her. As a young girl she had been the odd one out, never quite fitting in amongst the other children, too tall and too lanky. However, as an athlete she had the right body type. She was made to swim.

A shallow smile spread across Paige's lips, her teeth glinting in the soft light, clean and white. In a few short steps the girl walked up to the edge of her bed, leaned down and took the knife into her hand, gripping the handle tightly before striding over towards her en-suite bathroom. 

A moment standing in the light of the bathroom calmed the girl's nerves, her body thrumming with energy as she stepped into the shower stall after stripping away the remnants of her clothes. The water started cool but soon warmed up to an almost burning temperature, the girl's hand shook for a moment but as she placed the blade against the soft skin of her inner thighs, she held steady. A breath in. A breath out. Pressure upon pressure before a tear, a cut and then release. Blood welled under the cut, bubbling from the surface of the girl's thigh and she repeated the step again and again until dark spots began to appear in her vision. 

It took a minute, leaning back against the wall of the shower, allowing the water to run over her head but the darkness soon overwhelmed her eyes and she slipped down the tiles onto the floor. The knife clattering to the ground at her side, a small smile on her lips and Emily's name cut deep and red into her creamy thigh.

"Can I have everyone gathered around?" Coach Fulton asked quietly, lifting her head to look directly at Emily Fields as she spoke. "I've got some very sad news to pass on to you, if anyone needs to talk to me afterwards; my office door is open at all times whenever you need it."

The Swim team collectively looked at their coach with raised eyebrows and frowns marring their faces.

"Paige committed suicide on Saturday." Coach murmured as she looked at Emily. Their eyes boring into one another as the young girl's world began to collapse inwards. "And Emily, if you could come to my office, her parents want to talk to you."


End file.
